i’ve been counting days since the day
we met
we spent time together eternally
love can bring us happiness i’m sure
but also mysery
everything that we might have done
before
sadly i can feel that no more
you will see it in your mind’s eye
that we’re not mean to be.
*
every time i say goodbye
i think of all the time we’ve had
i don’t wanna let you go
but everytime i see your eyes
i see the lies that you’ve done to me
i realized that you’re not the one
i thought that we could be eternity
givin all my love to you completely
knowing that you do those things to me
we should just be friends
baby i don’t wanna play your game
it seems that all your good things
just fade away
i just wanna live my precious life
i dont believe in you..
ps : FORGIVE is to FORGET… ! it’s time to forgive and try to forget..
Uncategorized | Comment (0)poof..
uda mau selesai tahun 2007 nih. dan gw benerna berharap,gw ga benci orang di tahun ini. uda cukup gw membenci orang sampe segituna,yang benerna gw ndiri tau,klo gw ga bisa benci orang..
tapi apa daya,gw bukannya ga pengen memaafkan saja dua orang dgn 2 case berbeda itu.. tapi dampak perbuatan mreka itu sangat besar ke hidup gw.. dan gw sangat tidak bisa berdamai dengan kenyataan.. yg satu bikin gw jadi ga napsu ketemu smua temen2 gw.. yg satu ? ah,ini sih ga usa di jelasin. uda ga ada kata2 yg tepat buat jelasin smuana.
kalau kata chowlz,smua yang ada di diri gw skrg ini ibarat bom waktu. bisa meledak kapan saja. dan gw sangat bersyukur bahwa gw ga ada di sana, di neraka cikarang setiap harinya yg membuat gw harus ketemu atau tidak sengaja bertemu manusia2 itu.
tapi juga nih,gw mencoba melihat sisi positifnya,dengan skrg gw begini.. dengan kesendirian gw tanpa ada pegangan sedikitpun,dan tidak juga dari chowlz meskipun skrg satu2nya orang yg dket ma gw cm dia.. gw semestina bisa lebih dewasa,lebih mandiri,lebih ga bergantung ma orang lain. thanks to both of u,dear ! for putting me into this situation..
hmm.. dan satu pria itu. meskipun skrg yah gw jd mayan dket ma dia,tapi.. i didn’t want to make a same mistake again. so, i’m very ready for it already.. 
hmm.. life is so complicated.. tapi,i must always remember,the note that i wrote on the wall.. "REN,inget kata resha,terus MELANGKAH dan tidak MELIHAT ke BELAKANG.."
uda ah. time to sleep.
Uncategorized | Comment (0)the meaning of 6th April :
born to enjoy.I mean you are always want to enjoy your life time.You will be very good in either education or work wise or business management.You are talented.kind(but with only people who you think are nice),very beautiful girls and guys,popular and more than lucky with anything in your lives.All the goodness does come with you.Your mind and body is just made perfect for love.You are loveable by any other numbers.You are a caring person towards your family & friends.If you miss the half-way mark then you are about to suffer physically and mentally.Generally you will lead a very good inner-home happiness with nothing short of. You are a person of compassion, comfort & fairness, domestic responsibility, good judgement, and after all you can heal this world wounds to make peace for every life coz you have the great power of caring
Uncategorized | Comment (0)malam minggu kelabu..
damn.
lagi2 kenangan itu keingat lagi. janji2 dia,parfum dia,enakna meluk dia,perhatian2 dia,dan smua yg ga bisa di sebutin satu2.. damn bgt.
lama2 gw bisa gila nih klo begini caranaa.. kenapa sih gw ga bisa berdamai aja ma kenyataan klo dia skrg uda suka cwe lain,uda dket ama cwe lain.. !! damn bgt bgt !
God,please for damn shakeee.. wake me up.. !! wake me up !! stop this nightmare.. !! hate this.. !
*hiks.
Uncategorized | Comment (0)meralat : thanks god i found you.
Sebenarna,gw uda perna nulis blog yg judulna,"Thanks God,i found you." dan postingan lama gw itu akan gw hapus. jadi gw memperbaiki smuana disini.
pala gw pusing. itu inti yg terjadi hari ini.
what’s wrong?
simple aja. smlm gw bermasalah dgn salah satu wanita. buat gw,ini sih benerna masalah kecil.tp cukup membuat gw labil. semalam,si wanita tsb marah ma gw. well,gw bisa memahami sih benerna masalahna dimana.. meskipun dia tidak mengakui. tp,yg bikin gw sangat panas,karna gw yakin.. yakin.. yakin.. dan yakin se-yakin2na.. klo sebenerna,dia itu di panas2in someone atau kelompok tertentu yg ga tau gw sapa,tp ngejudge gw seenak udel bodong mreka.
mau marah? tidak. tidak marah? tidak. jadi apa dums? gw ndiri jg ga tau what the hell is going on. dari awal,gw uda *kasarna nih*.. i bend on my knee to swear to that women *ups,kesanna tua bgt ya*.. to that girl deh klo gw bole ralat. klo there’s nothing gonna happen between me and his boyfriend. buat gw, smua itu sama aja.tapi,entah kenapa.tiba2 dia meledak ma gw.gw yakin benerna klo si ce ini di panas2in.tp sayangna,dia ga mau ngaku sapa yg blg ke dia.and i’m getting don’t care.
at the 1st time,at this morning ampe tadi siang,gw sangat labil. i wish i can talk with someone,tp sayangna boro2 ada.and i do my stupid things again. berharap si deka akan mencegah gw? nope,it wont happen. karna klo bole pake prinsip dia,"lat,semakin km di cegah,semakin kamu menuju kesana.so thats way i let u do that stupid things.". alhasil,gw cm diem di balkon,sendirian,sampe akhirna si ibu yayasan kampus gw mengusik ketenangan gw. (btw,jgn2 dia sangka gw mau terjun dari 3a kali ya?haha.)
malem ini.. setelah apa yg gw rasain,setelah penyesalan gw akan that stupid things,setelah semua2na.. akhirna gw pencet salah satu nmr temen dket gw itu.. dan lgsg ngmg,"chowl,lagi dimana? i need to talk with u.please."
lalu alhasil,critalah gw dari a ampe z. nangis yg gw tahan2 blakangan ini,ga bisa di ajak kompromi lagi. ini tuh pertama kalina keqna gw nangis sesengukan ke anak pu (wkt itu ke jili sih ga separah ini!).hehe.
dan viola.. *jreng jreng*,i feel so peaceful.. entah karna dia rajin bgt doa,atau gimana.. tp kata2na tuh tenang tp ga ngejudge apapun.. membuat gw untuk berusaha melihat masalah2 gw dari segi lain. i’m proud of him.
klo dulu dia perna blg ma gw, "klo ada apa2,lo harus crita ma gw.klo lo di apa2in,bilang." dan dia jg perna blg ke gw,"kdang klo gw tau lo lagi di *sensor* gt,gw slalu doa buat lo untuk lo ga tidur dengan lelap.. biar lo slalu terjaga.. biar lo bisa sigap klo di apa2in..". intina itu.. dan hari ini jg dia ngmg,"lo ga usa takut kehilangan temen.lo ga akan kehilangan siapapun. not si echa,not me. gw slalu ada buat loe.qta emang blom lama deket,tp begitu awal gw deket ama lo dan gw tau lo gimana,gw sadar klo ternyata lo itu benerna ***** banget. gw anggep lo keq ade gw ndiri. ***** (cewe dia) jg ngerti. ren,lo masi bisa pcaya gw kan? masi bisa ga? klo masi,dengerin kata2 gw please.. dengerin gw.. put all that stuff far from you. don’t do that bad things again.. please." dan satu lagi,"gw tau elo gimana,ren.gw tau aslina gimana.mreka ga tau apa2.jangan karna ini aja,lo langsung keq gini.anggep ini plajaran buat lo biar bisa tambah kuat..".
yah itu intina..
dan sahabat gw yg satuna.. yg bukan si chowls atau deka,yaitu echa. yeah,bro. ur gonna always be in my heart. we’re gonna be bestfriends. i can understand her feelings. don’t worry. hmm,thanks for being my bestfriend too,bro. i always gonna visit my basecamp everytime i go to cikarang. hehe. o^^o
buat si item deka,terlalu banyak klo mau crita ttg km.but the memories always stays in my mind,my heart. reach ur happiness. mangap bgt klo blakangan ini aku labil. tp like what i said in ur testi just few hours ago,no one can love me like u do. u always stand up,catch me,and everything even i hurt you,i leave you,i run away from you. you’re always there for me. thanks. god bless u and her.
ps : dear echa,one thing that i always forgot to tell ya, ada tulisan di tembok gw,di kertas,pake pensil warna biru ama ungu.. "ren,inget kata2 resha, untuk terus melangkah menata hidup. jangan lihat ke belakang." ! ahaha.
thanks yah guys for being my very damn bestfriend ever for sure !
Uncategorized | Comment (1)